


Accidental Christmas

by unapologeticallydorky



Series: Chronicles of the Lost and Found [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Christmas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Holidays, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-06 21:43:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12826716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unapologeticallydorky/pseuds/unapologeticallydorky
Summary: Sage's first winter in the Commonwealth comes with some surprising challenges. Luckily she's got a friend like Nick to back her up.





	Accidental Christmas

It had been weeks since Sage and Nick fought Kellogg and learned what they could from exploring his broken memories. They continued working together, taking cases and gathering supplies for an excursion to the Glowing Sea. Nick was lucky enough- if being a synth could be called lucky- to not need the Rad-X they were collecting, but there were greater dangers than the ever-present radiation. 

While Nick was still getting to know Sage, it was nice having a partner again. She was easy to like and easy to trust. He knew that was something that could bite him in the ass later on. His gut told him he didn’t need to worry though, and he trusted his gut. She had good instincts, a good head on her shoulders, despite being so new to this world. There weren’t many people who knew exactly how disorienting suddenly finding yourself in the post apocalypse was but Sage, to her credit, was handling it all surprisingly well. He could add pragmatism to her list of virtues, but then, even the strongest people needed a break sometime. She seemed to barely let her guard down which, for most people, usually meant a collapse at an inopportune time.

They got into Diamond City late. Sage shivered under all the layers she was wearing; she suspected being in cryo so long had left her extra vulnerable to the cold. Spending her hard-earned caps on new clothes was frustrating, but she supposed a heavy coat was just as important to survival as stimpacks and bullets. She was lost in thought as they walked through the tunnel into Diamond City proper; how much more Rad-X should they collect? Was it even safe to head for the Glowing Sea this time of year? Was it ever?

They stepped out into the marketplace to find it snowing. It had only just started in the minute it took them to walk through the tunnel and was barely starting to settle on rooftops. It wasn’t until a snowflake landed on her nose that Sage was drawn back out of her thoughts. She stopped, blinking a few times, before looking down at the city.

“Well, would you look at that.” Nick said with a smile. “Looks like we got back just in time for a white Christmas.”

Colorful Christmas lights were strung up all around the city, between buildings and practically wound around Power Noodles. There were Christmas trees, too. Battered plastic trees with the same gaudy lights were on display in shops and even on a couple rooftops.

Sage blinked again, then pulled up her Pip-Boy to check the date.

“It- It’s Christmas?” She said quietly, looking back at scene laid out.

“Sure is, doll. I’m sure it’s nothing like you remember, but folks still try to make a nice time of it.” He tucked his hands into the pockets of his heavy coat and started down the path. “It’s lost its religious connections over the years, but it’s as good excuse as any to get together during the hard winter months.” 

Sage couldn’t believe it. In the back of her mind she’d known it was getting to be what used to be the holiday season. Halloween and Thanksgiving had passed without note, though she hadn’t been in the city then. If other holiday traditions had survived this long she wouldn’t have been here to see it.

But god, Christmas? That it had survived to be a part of this post-nuclear nightmare was astounding. As Sage walked down the metal catwalk she could see small packages, wrapped in old newspaper and twine, left under trees. It didn’t matter to her that the origin of Christmas had been lost- she’d never been much for religion anyway- but the holiday had still kept its meaning. People remembered the important part: to share your love with those you care about, however you can. She stopped at the foot of the pathway next to Publick Occurrences, thinking about Piper and Nat sharing some small meal and exchanging gifts. Did Shaun know it was Christmas? Did he have someone to celebrate with?

Nick loved seeing the city like this. The original Nick had some great memories from this time of year: sledding around the neighborhood with his childhood pals, that toy detective kit he got when he was, what, twelve years old? And his first Christmas Eve with Jenny. It was one the few times he didn’t mind having access to this man’s mind. For all the pain that came with knowing his life and being weirdly tangled in it, it was nice to be reminded- to know- just how good things were sometimes. It was nostalgia for a life that wasn’t quite his, but he was too sentimental to let the memories die.

“Say, what do you call-” Nick started some age-old joke and turned to Sage, only to find her no longer next to him. 

He looked back and saw her standing alone in the snow, covering her mouth with her hand. She was crying. Not sobbing by any means, but he could see the telltale shake of her shoulders. Nick drew a sharp breath and quickly made his way back to her. Her eyes were squeezed shut, focusing hard on regaining control but failing. The tears were making faint streaks where they cut through the dirt built up on her cheeks. Nick softly placed his good hand on her shoulder.

“Goodness, Sage, are you alright? What’s wrong?” Nick wasn’t sure he expected an answer, but he didn’t know what else to say. He was used to clients crying about whatever predicament they’ve found themselves in, but this was something different. This was his _friend _.__

____

Sometimes Sage felt so lost in this new world, all she could do was focus on her goals to stop from falling apart. If she just kept moving forward she could stay ahead of the sadness that threatened to overwhelm her. This holiday had thrown her off kilter, made her stumble. She found herself- not for the first time- so thankful for Nick’s presence. The hand on her shoulder was grounding. She pulled her hand from her mouth and drew a shaky breath. 

____

“It- It’s _Christmas_.” She said roughly. She covered her mouth again. That was all she could say.

____

For a moment Nick was still confused but then the pieces clicked into place. He felt a pang of guilt for not realizing it sooner. He’d been too casual about this. He should know better than anyone what being pushed into this new world was like, but he’d been too caught up in his own sentimentality to think what this meant to her. He squeezed her shoulder, unsure of what else he could do.

____

Sage focused on her breathing. If she could just calm down they could move on. This loss of control was unbearable. She wondered at what Nick must think of her crying in the middle of town like this, like a child. She’d come out of gunfights with a clearer head than this, but all because of some god damn string lights she was falling apart. She willed the feelings away, like forcing an angry cat into a cage. After a few long minutes she steadied. She still felt on edge, but she could be functional again. She swallowed and wiped her eyes. She found Nick’s golden eyes on her, his worn face etched with worry. She glanced away and instead studied the snowflakes collecting on the ground.

____

“I’m sorry, Nick, I just-” Her voice hitched in her throat; Nick cut her off before she could push past it.

____

“Hey, you don’t need to be sorry, doll. I shoulda known this would be hard for you.” She crossed her arms, hugging herself like she was trying to physically hold herself together. Nick stepped to her side and placed his hand on her back. “Come on, what do you say we get outta this cold.” 

____

Nick gently guided her through town; He was thankful that the late night meant the market was mostly clear. Even Power Noodles was empty, which was a rare sight even at this hour. Nick paused as a thought struck him.

____

“Say, when was the last time you had a hot meal? I bet it’ll do you wonders. My treat.” Nick said, gesturing towards the noodle shop. Sage gave a small nod and wiped her face again.

____

They took a seat at the bar. Takahashi repeated his usual greeting, Nick responded in kind and ordered a Chef’s Special. Sage placed her helmet on the bar and leaned forward, absently running a hand through her short hair. There was a radio playing somewhere; she could hear Travis’s tired, anxious voice mumbling, though she couldn’t make out his words. She wondered if that poor boy ever slept. 

____

Nick kept his eyes on her as they waited for her food. He could see the cracks in her facade, the way she was pulling in on herself. It was always the damnedest things that threw you for a loop. He knew how hard it could be to keep yourself going when the world stopped making sense. It had happened to the old Nick, and it had happened to him. He supposed that was part of why he was so set on helping her. Lord knows he could’ve used a good friend all those years ago. Takahashi placed the bowl of hot noodles in front of Nick, who then pushed it towards Sage.

____

“Here you go, doll. Can’t say I’m lucky enough to have tried this myself, but Ellie tells me it’s her favorite.” He said, sliding her the bowl. Sage’s cheeks flushed as she was startled out of her thoughts.

____

“Oh! Thanks, Nick.” She said, quietly surprised. The food smelled delicious; Spicy noodles with silt beans and what looked like slices of mirelurk meat. 

____

Nick turned around and leaned his back against the bar as Sage ate. He liked watching the market square, even when it was empty. He listened to the old radio and smoked, wondering at how strangely serene the night was. Snow and ice could make the world more dangerous- sound always seemed to travel further in the cold, snow made it easier for you to be tracked- but he always liked the way snow made the world feel softer. The Christmas lights and snow glittered together, leaving a mellow glow over the city that only they were there to enjoy. The cold could be tough on his battered, metallic body, but he’d always thought the discomfort was worth it for these quiet moments.

____

Sage was eating the food enthusiastically, despite her emotional turbulence. She was hungrier than she’d realized and the noodles were even better than she expected. Food in the Commonwealth was another thing she was still getting used to, but these were almost as good as old world take-out. She glanced over at Nick, suddenly aware she was eating rather ungracefully. Nick stole a look in her direction at the same time and caught her looking at him with a mouth full of noodles.

____

There was a second of silence before they filled the empty market with laughter. Sage struggled to not choke on her food, swallowing it down painfully. Nick had thrown his head back cackling as Sage laughed into her noodle bowl. It took a minute to catch their breath, just as a guard walked by giving them a strange look. Sage turned in her seat to face Nick better. It occurred to Sage she’d never heard him laugh so much or seen such a smile on him. 

____

“Glad to see you’re feeling better, doll.” He was still chuckling at the sudden, nonsensical loss of tension. 

____

“Yeah, me too.” She said. Her smile faded as she looked away, unwilling or unable to look him in the face. “Sorry I broke down like that. I just, uh, I didn’t expect Christmas to still be around. It caught me off guard, I guess.”

____

She closed her eyes and shook her head, still embarrassed for herself. It pulled at Nick’s heart strings that she held herself to such a high standard. Pushing yourself that hard was a great way to break yourself down, something he knew all too well. He rolled some thoughts over, trying to figure how best to approach this. His cigarette was nearly gone when he finally spoke again.

____

“You know, doll, you have been through an awful lot. It’s not unreasonable that you might get overwhelmed from time to time. What with how the world’s changed, what you’ve lost. I’ll never think less of you for needing a breather. I’ve got your back, all right?” Nick took a final drag off his smoke. He looked over at her, hoping his words had found their mark.

____

Sage put down her chopsticks part way through his speech. Nick had such a way with words; she supposed he had to, in his line of business. It was a simple sentiment, a quiet outreaching of friendship. She didn’t know how badly she needed to hear it until he said it. 

____

“Thank you, Nick. I do really appreciate that.” She said raspily; more tears were building up but she pushed past them. “I guess what got me is that I- I didn’t get to see Shaun’s first Christmas. I was so excited about it, too. Nate had actually teased me for starting to plan our holiday so early. But then everything happened and I just- I lost it all. And it’s not fair.”

____

Nick turned away from the market and leaned his elbows on the counter. He snubbed out his cigarette butt in a dirty ashtray, staring intently at the small whirls of smoke.

____

“You’re right, it’s not fair. I’d change it all if I could but, well, we do what we can.” He looked up, meeting her eyes. “I can’t give you the time you missed out on, but I promise we’ll find your son. With some luck you can start making Christmas memories with him next year.” 

____

Nick watched more tears slide down her pale cheeks. He wished he could do more for her; she was something special. Her story was more tragic than most out here- a feat unto itself- but she had such a powerful determination to change things. She always found time to give settlers a hand in between their search for clues and supplies. There weren’t many people in the Commonwealth with the will to help strangers in need, especially when their own troubles were knocking at their door. 

____

Sage was touched. It was a promise so freely given and so earnest. It meant so much to her, not just the idea of being with her son next Christmas, but knowing Nick was going to give his all to make it happen. She’d never had a friend quite like him. 

____

They sat in a comfortable quiet while she, again, regained her composure. She finished off her noodles, savoring the last few bites. Once they were gone she turned around on her stool and faced the empty marketplace, not quite ready to leave yet. She relished how calm it was. Such stillness had been a rarity for her the last few months.

____

“Thanks again.” She said, looking out at the lights. “What do I owe you for dinner?”

____

Nick huffed out a laugh and waved his hand. 

____

“Not a thing, doll. It’s on me. It’s Christmas, after all.” He replied, joining her in looking out at the city.

____

“What? No, I insist.” She turned to him, catching his surprised smile. “You’ve done so much for me already, and I don’t have even have a present for you.”

____

He watched the snow continue to drift down. They’d been sitting there long enough that now everything was covered in a soft, white blanket. He was quiet for a moment and let his thoughts come together.

____

“You know, it’s not often I make a new pal, especially not one like you. Let’s just say this new partnership is my gift this year.”

____

“God, Nick.” He raised an eyebrow at her, concerned at her tone. “You’re so goddamn nice. You’ve got to be the kindest man in Diamond City.”

____

He smiled abashedly, rubbing the back of his neck.

____

“I’m sure some people in town might not agree, but it’s nice of you to say so.”

____

“Yeah, well, some people would be wrong.” She slid off her stool and stretched, with Nick following suit. Sage realized one of her favorite Christmas songs was playing- A Christmas Waltz, with Frank Sinatra. She smiled and looked at Nick, who was pulling his coat tight around him. “Merry Christmas, Nick.”

____

He smiled at her, still humbled by her compliment.

____

“Merry Christmas, doll. Let’s head home.” Nick threw a casual arm over her shoulders as they walked toward the alleyway. 

____

Merry Christmas, indeed.

____


End file.
